If this is your first Mood Ring letter, welcome! Mood Ring is a newsletter on life, love, writing, and desserts. Great for tenderhearted souls. Sent every Tuesday. 💗
I’m celebrating a little milestone now that December has arrived; it has officially been six months since I started writing these letters. This feels kind of big to me because I’ve never been great at consistency. Abandoning half-starts is an unfortunate talent of mine. So, I’m glad this time I’m still here, still writing. Keeping this newsletter is like dog-earing pages of my days, recording what I’d like to remember, functioning like my theoretical mood ring. And more than anything, I’m grateful to all of you who read and share this newsletter. Thank you!
And one more thing: I’ll be taking a break during the last two weeks of December. So, no letters on the 20th or 27th.
Hi friends,
Are you trying anything right now? A hobby or bedtime routine? A recipe you found? A new way of thinking? As 2022 is quickly coming to a close, I’m trying to reflect back on the year, taking inventory of memories and feelings, which also means rereading some of the letters I’ve sent over the past six months. I’m noticing patterns, but also noting the things in flux, particularly my internal mantras.
In “I’m Trying Not To Rush,” I wrote about comforting words that stayed with me after reading Meghan Palmer’s thirty pieces of unsolicited advice. Most things are better when done slowly. I still love this, and it’s a good reminder right now because everything feels like it’s moving at a lightning-fast pace. But as I look back on these letters, I wonder what’s working for me today. What am I trying? I could say I’m trying to notice more, and it would be true. I could say I’m still trying to find my way, and that would be true too. But maybe the truest thing is that I’m trying to make space for good possibilities — I’m trying to say maybe.
Maybe this will all work out.
Maybe this is the start of a great adventure
Maybe you’ll be okay.
You might remember I enrolled in a romance novel workshop back in September. It was hosted by Catapult, a well-loved publisher of fiction and nonfiction. They’ve created a less lonely space where writers can better their craft together through resources, advice, and fellowship opportunities, and their classes are taught by both established and emerging writers. “Jumpstart Your Romance Novel” is a six-week fiction workshop taught by author, editor, and writer coach Bryn Donovan who just recently left Hallmark Publishing to join forces with her husband as they launch their editorial and author coaching service, Lucky Author. I’m so glad I took this workshop with Bryn (I’ve been missing it since it ended in early November), I left with a better (much more coherent) outline and edited chapters for my friends-to-lovers story, and I’m struck by the fact that I almost didn’t sign up for it in the first place.
I had been eyeing the class for most of August. But every time I read the class description, I found a way to convince myself not to do it. I was afraid of workshopping my unpolished ideas and messy first draft. I imagined scenarios where my novelist dreams would be crushed. Then there was the social anxiety that somehow doesn’t get better for me over zoom. None of those thoughts changed the fact that I wanted to simply kickstart my novel; I felt rusty after years of putting aside half-finished drafts. Plus, I work so much better when I have something external keeping me accountable (this newsletter is one of those external things).
I started trying maybes before I realized I was doing it, and now, it’s my go-to when I need to interrupt negative, unhelpful thought patterns. When I finally signed up for Bryn’s course, I said, “Maybe it’ll be fun.” And when I shakily introduced myself at the start of the first session, I said, “Maybe it’s okay that you’re nervous.” And when I almost skipped a meeting because I was afraid my outline was terrible, I said, “Maybe you’ll get some good suggestions.” And those maybes became true. It was more than fun to talk romance novels with other writers, gushing over the best love stories and our favorite tropes. My story came out transformed — in a good way — shaped by helpful comments and edits.
These days I’m still trying to say maybe when anxiety creeps around the corner. It’s like I’m giving my mind a different station to tune into, one that is a bit louder than the depression station or all-the-things-that-could-go-wrong station, one that says, “Perhaps, everything will go better than you expect.”
However, I can see that this practice needs balance. Sometimes your gut will know a situation isn’t right for you, and you can’t simply maybe your way through it. One day it may sound like, “Maybe this isn’t right for me,” and that will require a pause to consider if that’s true or not.
The maybes won’t always guide the way. But maybe this way of consideration can help if you’re feeling particularly stuck — if you want to take the leap but you’re giving yourself all the reasons not to.
In 2023, I’m bringing this newsletter and my maybes along for the ride. I’m leaving the possibility for good things open.
With love,
Alyssa
Thank you for reading! I love hearing from you, so feel free to leave a comment or write me anytime at alysrochwrites@gmail.com.
Mood Reads
I’m currently reading Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail by Ashley Herring Blake. It’s a queer romantic comedy about Astrid, an interior designer who has been focusing on her career after breaking up with her fiance. Her friends say she’s obsessed, but she says she’s driven. When she gets the perfect distraction in the form of a televised renovation project on the historical Everwood Inn, she also gets Jordan Everwood, a different kind of distraction. Jordan is the lead carpenter for the renovation and she is determined to preserve the history of her family’s inn, which inevitably gets in the way of Astrid’s modern-design decisions.
I pre-ordered this book five seconds after reading the last page of Delilah Green Doesn’t Care, which gave me the worst book hangover. I loved Delilah and Claire, and I’m ready for Astrid to find her happily ever after.
Writing
One thing about me is that I have a lot of things I like to write about and I never seem to know how to brand myself as a writer. I feel like I’m all over the place. Just recently, I joined a video game news and reviews website as a staff writer. So when I list aspiring romance novelist, newsletter writer, and games critic all together, it honestly feels a little chaotic.
This makes me grateful that I shifted to using a pen name for Mood Ring and any upcoming publications for fiction. Even if it’s just a mental distinction, it’s helpful to me. Alyssa Lalata — fiction and personal writings. Alyssa Payne — gaming and tech writing.
Anyway, if you’re a writer and have any advice for me on how to manage this conundrum of niches, I would really love to hear from you!
Baking
My goal this month is to make my own pandesal. Whenever I FaceTime my mom, I keep telling her I’m going to do it, and I am determined to follow through before the year is over.
I grew up eating pandesal in the mornings before school. A snack between homework. A dessert before bed. Pandesal is a classic Filipino bread roll that is soft and fluffy, somewhat sweet but also savory. It makes a great sandwich with meat or, if you want something sweeter, try condensed milk or peanut butter.
Ever since I moved to Washington, I haven’t found a place where I can buy pandesal (if you know of one, send it my way), but I’m going to try and make my own.
Maybe they’ll taste like home.